Tuesday, November 27, 2012

this might just help

yesterday as i was making more lists and checking- only a few things off my list of to do and to purchase- pay---calls to make cards to send---situations to work out----something came to me------

if i could tackle each day's challenges like a preschooler's "work-sheets"----well then it just didn't seem as over-whelming

i remember kinda liking those work-sheets and i loved using them to teach robyn---i can't tell you how many work-books we went through

so even if a day is full of things much more serious than a work- sheet---i think it would help to view life's daily work as such----

some days i will get to all of my sheets---and others----well i might just have to do some make-up work the next day---

Thursday, November 22, 2012

re-post from 2009-- happy thanksgiving:)

hey everyone- hope all have a great day tomorrow--robyn and i just finished making some of our dishes early- robyn wanted to do it all by herself- but we managed to do it together- one day it can be all hers-

thought i would talk a little about some "special" thanksgivings-
one that comes to mind--if you remember my blog about janie, you will understand why this one was so special--we picked her up to come to our house, just for the day- we were still planning to adopt her at this point and some of our family was going to come over to meet her--i remember it was snowing that morning-- it was one of those snows that only covered the ground and trees, it was so very beautiful- we had a fire going all day and it was just a great day- a day that i knew as it was happening, would long be a very special memory-

totally other aspect of thanksgiving- there was this one year-- our little boy, tommy had been in the hospital for a week- we came home the day before thanksgiving-- i told frank i wasn't up to the full blown day- but he assured me he would do it all and it would be fine- it wasn't- i ended up sending him to the "great american steak buffet"- he probably didn't care too much anyway--colin and kelli meet him there-- i fed the little kids- and we had lots of left-overs--frank even got the "senior discount" -which he wasn't old enough for- hahahaha

oh yeah - there was this one year, i decided to go back to making everything from scratch (i know) well i had just finished my huge pan of homemade stuffing- it was cooling on the counter- i left the room for something- i returned to find "luda" (our dog) eating the stuffing- she had almost eaten half of it--i just cut out the part where she might have licked it and served it anyway--funny the kinda same thing happened years before that- i had made my mother's famous mac and cheese- well it fell in the floor as i was pulling it out of the oven- i scooped the top layer back into the pan and called "hugo" (our dog then) in to lick up the rest-

i have lots of other fond memories, but i gotta go cook some more- happy cooking and just be thankful i didn't ask ya over my house this year- too bad i don't have a dog-

Monday, November 19, 2012

no lights before it's time

the darkened houses leave me feeling somewhat warm and cozy inside, like i wonder who lives there and what are they doing---i kinda feel like "john-boy"

while the Christmas music plays, i hum it in my head and try to bring back those memories, no they won't come-

not the way i always imagine they will come---so i think to myself----each year holds another promise-
i can fight against it or submit to it's beckoning---i don't

then there is a glimmer--someone has taken the time to adorn their abode with the shiny stuff---it all runs together for me---like a watercolor painting left in the bathroom with the shower on----i like it better that way--

will this season bring the softness of winter or the bitter chill-----is it only in my power or do i have a thing to say about it---

so i will trust to feel it when it arrives and hope to not grow tired before it's time--

and although the shadows are still there and the pain that feels a little like comfort will undoubtedly arrive from event to event-----

i know full well that come january i will regretfully mourn it's passing

Monday, November 12, 2012

when did this happen

yesterday something hit me---something that i thought my life paralleled at this time---

getting stuck in the drive-thru----you know that moment when you realize the line just isn't gonna move fast enough for you--but there are cars in front of you and oh yeah, you just missed your chance to back up--some duffuss has just joined the parade--

a paralyzing thought hit me the other day---the fact --if i live another 22 years, i will be 80-----no wait, i have to tell you i re-added those numbers several times before, i accepted that possibility---

and it didn't work the other way----22 years back didn't sound all that young---sorry all you 36 ers out there--i mean it is young, but not young in comparison to the oldness sounding of 80--

now i mean no disrespect to all of my elders-----as a matter of fact, i am having more and more respect for them each day-----my dad is 87-----and although he gets along pretty well----it ain't always pretty for him--

okay i realize, i am not assured i will make it to 80 or even 60----wow---that sounds foriegn too---when did this happen----where is that cute girl---that i didn't appreciate back then---in the good old days----and you know i most definitely recall they weren't all the good old days--

so what do i do---stuck in the middle of that darn drive- thru line of life----i could decide to get out of my car and just leave it there in line---blocking the guy behind me and annoying the heck out of the ones behind him---

or i could lay on my horn until all the people preventing me to leave this awful position in the drive-thru----had no choice but to back it up and let me out--

i certainly wouldn't want to ramp it up and mow down the car in front--

so i wait for my happy meal, like a good girl---mmmhhhh, old lady-------and try to remember what i wanted to order when i get my turn-----

Thursday, November 8, 2012

suggestions please :)

hey guys---what's everyone doing for thanksgiving---you know me, i have been writing my list since a month ago at least---but----

i was wondering what you all make for the big day-----i always want to try at least one new dish each year--just to keep it interesting and fresh---

but the problem is--i always end up having all the traditional stuff too----and sometimes it is all just way too much work---

if i do my shopping, maybe in two trips or better yet, let frank do some of it---i will tend to be more sane---you know the grocery thing---

i have been watching the cooking shows, but have been disappointed that they aren't really doing all that much holiday recipes yet---what are they waiting for--i mean it is pretty early this year----

i also am planning to have my oldest son's birthday dinner---which is always stressful---because poor thing has such a limited time off, it's just hard for us all to get together---i think or i should say, i hope he still likes for me to do it, as i do a dinner for all of the big kids birthdays-----

oh btw---my son i was talking about(dustin--"robhye"--his stage name which has become his everyday name which i can't get used to----you should hear his brother colin pronounce it haha--i digress) is an extra in the lincoln movie---the extras have a special showing for them tonight, i tried to get my son to go--but he couldn't get off :(-----he says he will probably see it when it comes to video----

so any suggestions on the not so usual dishes for thanksgiving--i would love to hear them or any special little traditions you do----thanks for sharing :)

hey--sorry, i didn't mean to ignore my friends who don't celebrate thanksgiving--please share your best ideas too!!:)

Thursday, November 1, 2012


aunt alice's funeral was yesterday and with her passing came the end of an era in my family's life--

her services were not in the little frame church, that still graces the grounds, but in their new facility---not at all like i had envisioned it----time marches on--

we rode past my grandmother's house afterward and alice's house, which is just a couple of lots away----

finally the new owners were taking down the old shingles from my grandmother's house----how i wished i had gotten back in---one more time----maybe taken the old ornate space heater in the dining room---or that gorgeous deer in the snow scene front door-----if only-

i have many things from my grandmother's house---not really anything from my uncle elwin and alice though----a dear friend of alice's told me as i was leaving the church---if alice's brother didn't want all of the family(my side)pictures, she would send them to me----

this lady actually took care of my aunt alice until she had to be placed in the nursing home---she is her sister's sister-in-law----she is such a special person---her sister was saying yesterday, how she was an angel in disguise---i told her, that i didn't think she was disguised too well--

we drove past the two little frame bridges as we left the church yard----the waters always scared me as a child--and i shuttered a little as they creaked and swayed--

as we passed the reservoir, i felt that old feeling, it was cloudy and i was hungry and chilled-----i remembered those winter days--arriving at grandmother's house---the old wood stove she cooked on--the one i have now, just sitting in my kitchen---no use, just reminding me-----i could feel how i felt, as a child---how after dinner, if it were really cold and looked at all like there could be the possibility of snow--

i would huddle up on my grandmother's old iron bed and dreamily peer out those cold windows----just knowing i wouldn't have school the next morning--

my sister got out as we passed by alice's--she was going to take a picture---i rolled my window down, telling her we were going on---i had taken pictures not too long ago anyway----

we did move on and on down the road and i found myself not looking back at those waving hands ---only remembering them in my fondest glimpses of yesterday-----