Thursday, July 25, 2013

one day

good thursday morning all----lots still going on and on and on hahaha--i know, i hear ya--enjoy it!!

sadly i want to share with you, my two friends battling cancer, have gone to be with the Father--they passed away less than a week apart-----i am glad i saw one of my friends a couple of weeks before he died---it was a sweet visit, he was having a rather good day and as i held his hand while frank prayed, i felt he was a little boy---as he was not the touchy feely kind of guy, and as i am not too----i struggled with the over-whelming desire to hold him close and cry-----settling for asking him if i could kiss his head---as i did, i lingered a bit--as if there was something unsaid or like there was anything important i could add to his life ending----

my other dear friend was a lady i go to church with--a lady my dad hired to help with my mother, during the last year of her life----such a sweetheart---she had become an extended member of our family----as i finished writing another thinking of you card for her---i got the call from my father that she had gone---

as with life, the sadness does not stop and the joys do not cease to happen---many times, side by side----

robyn has many of her closest friends and family members in her wedding party---several of her best friends had moved away in this last year or so, and were not going to make it to the wedding---

last week, one of these friends, had a tragic loss in her family, which has brought her back home----she is now going to be in the wedding-----robyn has cried so much for her friend's loss and the sad reason she is able to be there-

i still find myself, counting the days, literally---and also in a weird way---i have realized, i am not as concerned with the details and the chaos----

there is a lot i cannot share---for now---maybe a book one day----who am i kidding----but i did think i had a pretty good idea for one----even robyn liked it-----it is about a mother of the bride's point of view of the wedding----sort of a dark comedy---

but first i gotta get that one "love don't buy no tires"---done-----i dedicate today's blog to my friend and hopefully, one day, co-writer, susan

Tuesday, July 16, 2013


good tuesday morning my friends---i wasn't gonna write this morning but i am suddenly feeling pretty emotional, so i thought, hey, maybe i should write after-all

it is the kind of emotional that is not particularly unpleasant, maybe melancholy would be a better word--

i have written in the past about my tendency to rush things and how i am ready for the summer to be over, as soon as the 4th of july has ended

yesterday a friend of mine, posted on her facebook how she was ready for fall and all of it's glory and beauty---i liked it---but found myself surprised that i wasn't feeling that way, this summer--

now i know i have told everyone, who asked, how i am more than ready for robyn's wedding to be over and in lots of ways i am----but as i knew i would, i am starting to get the fact that when it's over, it's over----

there will be no more days of pouring over bridal magazines and searching every site on google that has anything to do with weddings---

robyn will probably stop pinning wedding ideas to her pinterest---and i will look around the house and wonder where has all the bags of wedding materials disappeared to- and how is it, i am no longer finding pieces of ribbon and endless wedding lists all over the dining room table--

such as life---we celebrate and we go on---and hopefully we celebrate again----

if i stop too long to ponder this momentous time in my daughter's life, i will be like her daddy----who wouldn't care if i write about, his many teary moments at the thought of his "little winkie" getting married-

he worries how he won't be able go in to kiss her goodbye each morning before work------

i just take a deep breath and say to myself--this is what you prayed for and it is----i firmly believe this is meant to be---

i know a big part of my sudden flush of emotions is due to the many sad things going on at this time---many heartaches and pain for others in my life-----

but there is a deep part of me, that senses something going on lately that is so beautifully orchestrated that only the angels could hear it----it seems to be saying---this is all for a purpose, take notice, see how everything is connected----and i do sometimes look back at each encounter and go awwww that's what that was about-----

and those fireflies seem to increase everyday--so much so that i think of them quite often---like a couple of Sundays ago---my mind wandered a bit about all those fireflies and how i just might write a book about the summer without the fireflies----cause maybe they have something to do with my wanting summer to linger just as long as it wants

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

more salads and reptiles

well this blogging thing has turned into kinda a weekly check-in huh-----i am sure i will be looking for things to do and hopefully writing more, after robyn and dillon's up-coming wedding

we are busy getting the last touches in order--the music finalized--the bows finished ----and maybe settling on one cake she loves----

but i am sure i will bore y'all to death afterwards with "tmi"---

Sunday we celebrated frank's birthday----we had pizza and a couple of salad's i made-----i once again brought out my award winning (jk) green salad, you might remember, the one with the almonds, cranberries and oranges---this time, i didn't dress it with the raspberry vinaigrette but gave a choice---forgetting i didn't have the "zesty" italian, my oldest grandson wanted---tried a new pasta creation---steamer bags,  of broccoli, fettuccine with sun dried tomato dressing--big hit

we had cake of course but i added a make your own ice-cream sundae, table----i was in a bit of a dilemma--cause you know how i am---about what 4 flavors of ice-cream to have-----ended up having, golden oreo---not such a hit----chocolate with mini m&m--ehh so so response----but definitely the two favs---girl scout, somoa and birthday blast---

interesting to me---the gummy bears were virtually untouched, while the gummy worms were gone, before you could say, candy reptile-----the chocolate syrup was used a lot and the cool whip----even though one of my grandsons, was careful to point out, that i was basically serving oil, not cream----he shared this as he mounted the oily mess on his concoction----

there was much entertainment at this proctor get-together, to be exact, there is never the lack of it at any occasion----they all have a small amount of the performer in them----

haha, i gotta tell y'all this----it might not relay too well in word------as frank was opening one of his presents---i was not aware it was a gift from my son colin and his family-----i mistakingly thought it was the shirt, i had suggested to robyn to get for her dad----she had told me she couldn't get the yellow color but had purchased a polo like it in blue---well when i turned my head and didn't realize the blue t-shirt, frank was holding up to show everyone, was indeed not the one from robyn---i exclaimed, "why did you get that shirt"--to which my son, defended---"well mom, it's a nice summer t-shirt"----i wondered, why is he coming to robyn's defense------thank goodness, i soon figured out what he thought---i quickly tried to explain, to no avail----they will not let me forget my rudeness---

oh and yeah---skip the fruit for the sundae spread--just keep it in the frig for yourself later

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

until there is freedom for all

on this the day before our country celebrates it's great day of freedom, i wanted to say happy 4th to all---but as my heart is dealing with some heavy duty stuff ---i am severely reminded that there is not freedom for some----so it is with that pain, i leave you with a poem today, probably my favorite---i have had it read at many occasions ---and although i fancy myself a poet of sorts---this says what is truly in my heart


I shall not pass this way again---
Although it bordered be with flowers,
Although I rest in fragrant bowers,
And hear the singing
Of song-birds winging
To highest heaven their gladsome flight;
Though moons are full and stars are bright,
And winds and waves are softly sighing,
While leafy trees make low replying;
Though voices clear in joyous strain
Repeat a jubilant refrain;
Though rising suns their radiance throw
On summer's green and winter's snow,
In such rare splendor that my heart
Would ache from scenes like these to part;
Though beauties heighten,
And life-lights brighten,
And joys proceed from every pain---
I shall not pass this way again.

Then let me pluck the flowers that blow,
And let me listen as I go
To music rare
That fills the air;
And let hereafter
Songs and laughter
Fill every pause along the way;
And to my spirit let me say:
"O soul, be happy; soon 'tis trod,
The path made thus for thee by God.
Be happy, thou, and bless His name
By whom such marvellous beauty came."
And let no chance by me be lost
To kindness show at any cost.
I shall not pass this way again;
Then let me now relieve some pain,
Remove some barrier from the road,
Or brighten someone's heavy load;
A helping hand to this one lend,
Then turn some other to befriend.

O God, forgive
That I now live
As if I might, sometime, return
To bless the weary ones that yearn
For help and comfort every day,---
For there be such along the way.
O God, forgive that I have seen
The beauty only, have not been
Awake to sorrow such as this;
That I have drunk the cup of bliss
Remembering not that those there be
Who drink the dregs of misery.

I love the beauty of the scene,
Would roam again o'er fields so green;
But since I may not, let me spend
My strength for others to the end,---
For those who tread on rock and stone,
And bear their burdens all alone,
Who loiter not in leafy bowers,
Nor hear the birds nor pluck the flowers.
A larger kindness give to me,
A deeper love and sympathy;
Then, O, one day
May someone say---
Remembering a lessened pain---
"Would she could pass this way again."

by Eva Rose York